itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

What the shit..

fictivetruism:

current mood: baby yoshi from super mario world

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This explains my life

fiyhi:

patron-de-los-santos:

mcdamnright:

So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.

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I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.

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Then I was like “No.”

well no wonder why it was in the thrift store

but shit it was 99 cents

Lmao